So I guess I am doing OK

I am sorry its been more than a month and I have not updated any of my posts. There were lots happening these days, a lot of personal experience to write about and being a blogger its sad for me how I am not able to express all these to you. And when I say lot it means festivals, gathering, meetings, celebrations, separation, doctors visit and much more. If I start writing about all these stories I could blog for a long 60 days, daily.

Last evening I was going through my old diaries and I am astonished to see how most of the incidents were so sad in nature. I wonder am I a negative kind of person or sad things give me much stronger emotion to write.

And last night I said goodbye to one of the finest friends of mine and at the other hand learned a new things about my this new friend. So I guess I am doing OK.

Apart from writing these days I am reading 'The Diary of a Young Girl' by Anne Frank. Good book.

Those who doesn't know I would like to share this information that I am working on my own novel as well. 5 years is the maximum time limit I am giving of myself to make it ready for publishing. And I don't mind sharing a few pages with my readers, so just let me know and all kinds of suggestions and advices are acceptable.

So after a long time its good to be in touch with you all. I would love to make this conversation two ways. Tell me about yourself, what are you reading, places you visited, your family, your friends, your problems and believe me I have a lot of things to share with you all too.

And the far most important thing for me right now is "No matter what, I shall not stop writing".

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; 

And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

- By E. E. Cummings

A Time For Love

   The first time I saw him I was too young to understand what love is. Our names start with the same letter, does that means love? Love was sitting next to me for the whole year solving math problems, sharing lunch during recess, I let him borrow my pencil but I never got it back. With sadness I waved him goodbye when we got a part for the whole summer vacation.

   Maybe love changes every year, like weather. Maybe love remains same for ages, like history. Maybe love is complicated as you never get to solve it, like a math problem. Maybe Love lies somewhere in between the lines on our hands, like fate. Maybe love always has a happy ending, like a fairy tale. Maybe Love is perfect.

   But when Love arrived it has short hairs, he wears a loose shirt, he talks less and thinks too much.

   She doesn't know anything about makeup. She doesn't know how to cook at all. She goes crazy on the dance floor. Love has made me sick.

   Love is not perfect but Love is there. Love holds my hand before I fall.

   Love will never let me sleep way past midnight. Love doesn't care about thousands of bucks of a phone bill if he really wants to talk to me all day, all night.

   Love is a blush on my cheeks when someone puts our names together.

   I saw Love is peeking through the corners and edges of its eyes, sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable in public.

   Love surprises me on my Birthday. Love takes care of me when I am sick. Love sings for me so I can sleep. Love comes near to me and my heart beats gets faster. Love touches me and I feel like a roller-coaster ride. But I don't believe Love fights too when we disagree. Love breaks my heart.

   Maybe I am not perfect for Love, maybe Love is not ready for me. Maybe I lost it way back, maybe I have not found it yet.

   Sometimes you have to retain the Love and sometimes you have to let it go.

   Maybe Love will grow old with me. It will have wrinkles all over its body but his heart will be tender. Most of the times it will rest on its bed. Love will hardly talk.

   Love grows like a tree stretching to reach the sky, Love changes like it found a better person than me out there in this very world, Love disappears like a dream but I still have a slight recollection of it's in the morning.

   Maybe love should stay, maybe Love will not.

Brother, Oh Brother!

   When we were kids I hated you, you were the person who teased me most and in a return I thought I could never love you back.

   You always wanted the same pen and notebook I choose for myself, you always wanted the place where I was sitting, you always wanted to reach for remote when I was watching ‘Friends’ on television. I don’t know how many secrets we have shared, I don’t remember how many fights we had together.

   But when we were young you became my friend. I realized we were so bonded. Sometimes you were right to say not everyone is worth being friend but when I told you 'I like that boy' you taught me all about the man's psychology but become his friend eventually. Sometimes you knocked my door just to ensure I am all right and I always hold your attention where ever I go.

   I know you could have been a soldier and serve for this country, I know you could have been a doctor and save many lives but you decided to become something else, out of the league and I respected you because you listen to your heart and I could see a great deal of myself in you.

   I love you because I know you know me better than anyone else, you know me how I feel when I succeed and what I feel when I don’t get what I wish.

   Thank you for everything you taught me, thank you for sharing your chocolates, thank you for all those rides on your bike, thank you for telling who is right and who is wrong and thank you for accepting my every demand. I know you are a good person at heart and upright citizen of this nation.

   I know if I ever need a strong man to hold my side you will be the first person. I know if any road romeo tries to tease me you will be there to punch him on his face.

   I am a girl, I am a woman, you protect me and respect me always and God knows I am lucky to have you all my life. But I ask you for more than that now, please do not just ignore the situation just because no one else is bother about it, never let down your eyes if you see anything is happening wrong, always speak up for the truth and raise your voice if you ever see injustice not only for me for, any girl, for anyone.

Reason to Wander Jodhpur

     Summer and Jodhpur (Rajasthan) expedition, this amazing combination taught me an interesting fact that those extreme adventures are always the most memorable one. Jodhpur is the second largest city of Rajasthan known as the ‘sun-city’ or you can call it the ‘blue-city’. There are lots of ways to describe its beauty; it’s vibrant colorful view, outstanding hospitality, mouth-watering food, rich culture, royal history and much more.

Umaid Bhavan Palace 

Umaid Bhavan Palace, is abode of the Jodhpur Royal Family and the part of the Palace is managed by Taj Hotels. The castle is also operating a museum for Royal antiques where you can throw a glimpse of the Royal dining table, Royal dressing table, antique watches from all over the world and many more fantastic facts about the Royal family. It has a gallery of vintage cars. If you remember the epic Bollywood movie zubeidaa, well story belongs to here.

Mehrangarh Fort

     
Mehrangarh Fort, is one of the largest forts in India. It is situated in one of the highest levels in Jodhpur and view of city from here is mesmerizing. Mehrangarh Fort has a great history and many stories. One of the popular tourist places in Jodhpur and yes do not forget to visit the museum here, it’s amazing. ‘Sudh Desi Romance’ movie title track has been shot here. Great place to visit.

Mandore Fort

Mandore Fort, was once a fulfilled city but now it’s ruined. The only visible sites here are Mandore temple and its garden. It has a small playground for children you can have a visit here, have snacks and enjoy your time. 

Clock-Tower

Clock-tower, it is a busy place and one of the oldest market of Jodhpur with lot many small street shops I don’t think there is anything you can’t find here. We had a glass full of Keser lassi here, amazing.

I am not a foodie but I enjoyed every morsel of food that has been dished out to me here. The sense of local music is great and melodious; one after one song and you can’t stop listening.

     This place has so much to offer and I am too small to handle. Here, beauty is everywhere you just have to look for it.

     People talk about 'mirage' in stories well I won't say I have found my 'mirage' yet but Yes, I accept that I had a glimpse of it here. Land of beautiful people.

P.S.- Special thanks to Deepak and Anuradha for making this trip possible.

Have a Happy life

     I know we all have to prove our self at every step of our life whether we like it or not, that is the reason we have fights, tests, examinations, experiments and all. You try and try and try but there is no guarantee to be a master at what you do. You will still be shocked and frightened. And sometimes you are unable to answer the situation.

    You can be strong and you can be very judgmental, you can be kind and you can be so fragile but with these mixed feelings you can make a hell out of your life. But life doesn't have to be that hard the way of life has to be free and beautiful.

     May be you don't know what you want. May be you screw things when you don't like the way it is but it's ok. It's ok to get angry when you are hurt, it's ok to surrender when you are in love and its ok to be heartbroken when you trust. This is the part of our life, your life and my life. At least you are trying to be real with you. This is what we do, we are supposed to have emotions without it we all will be lost.

     What if I tell you an average person can live for 24,000 days only. In 24,000 days you will grow, you will learn, you will love and you will die someday. Isn't it really too less time to live your life.

     Yes you have been told not to talk to strangers but I tell you here do not stop being kind to them.

     Yes you have been told war is no good for humanity but I tell you here do not stop your heart to collect the broken pieces that war spreads all over the world.

     And yes you have been told life will be measured in how much money you earn but I tell you here do not avoid the fact that there might be something else (dreaming, writing, exploring the world...etc) you would really love to do, and you should not forget that.

My Teenage Dream

     When I was a teen I used to collect coins, magazines, pictures of movie stars, writing notes and do lots of cycling around old houses. We didn’t have many options to watch on television with 'Doordarshan' channel, so it’s better to play with friends. But after the advent of color televisions and more channels we girls used to get together after school and watch television all evening.

     Do you remember when we were teenagers we always wanted to be someone like a pop star, movie star, superstar as they are born to be praised by fans and followers like us. They motivated us to be beautiful, good looking, rich, successful and happy.

     Michael Jackson & Madonna was the most inspiring pop stars of my generation and liked by every teen, but I always go with the minority in this scenario I always liked the Latina sensation Jennifer Lopez, JLO. She was attractive and beautiful in her own ways but my friends used to say "She is not beautiful". Interestingly I never considered myself as a beautiful girl in my group or a class but that might be the reason it brought me closer to her, praise her and idolize her.

     Her journey right from the backup dancer till the stardom was never been easy. Imagine, how hard it would be for her to become a Hollywood mainstream superstar when she was actually from a Latino background with an average looks. But she succeeded. She is dam hard working person. She performs multiple tasks, movies, singing, dancing, concerts, business and personal life. I wish I could be as strong and self made women like her.

     Jennifer says she does not drink alcohol, smoke, or experiment with drugs, she stays natural and no plastic surgery unlike most of the superstars. Jennifer Lopez with Ben Affleck was the best picture of the perfect couple for me that time. I loved her song 'Jenny from the Block' the most and I still do.

     The way she dances and her beautiful voice, her perfect toned body and her different but attractive looks which made her shine wherever she goes always inspired me to be like her. Those were the days and even today I have never dropped the feeling to be like her. I have never stopped liking her. She’s still my 'The favorite pop star'.

     She has always given me the positive feeling that you can be beautiful and conquer the world with whatever you have and whoever you are.

For me to love her is loving myself in many ways.