You will never fade away

   You maybe the best man of my life. You maybe the most good looking man I have ever seen and maybe you are way too superior to me. You think the whole world revolves around you like we know the theory of 'center of attraction', like gravity that attracts everything toward you. 

   You knew it from the beginning so you decided to play games out of it. You said you are the one and I believed you. You said you would never leave me and I believed you. Like a dark as the night and bright as the day I thought you will forever going to stay.

   I feed you with my pride and so called admiration. You rooted deep into my heart and I let you grow, day by day. I hold you so gently, I thought you would understand. I thought you would understand that you are my beloved, for me you are the precious and the only one. 

   But now I realize nothing lasts for long. The air that you breathe, the vision that you create is no longer the same. Your brightest face and your golden heart have lost its value. 

   Yes, it's not easy for me so I believe it's not easy for you too.

   Let's forget that I am deep cut inside and you are hiding your scars. Let's believe we are beautiful again and this is never going to fade away. Let the life lead us to new horizons. 

   But I have decided not to leave you like this. You will live with me forever, in my dreams, in my stories, in my old diaries, in my secret drawer, somewhere below my table and places where no one will ever imagine.

   So, at night when I will raise my head up and look for the moon, I will possibly think of only you, because I always, always do.

How would you react?

Every living creature on this earth do react to the situation only the difference is how differently they react to it. In some ways not reacting is another way of reacting too.

This blog is entirely based on my personal opinion. There are no scientific studies have been done before writing it, only a few interviews.

This is the general idea that some people react over the situation after analyzing it they are the superior and most intellectual humans on this earth. And there are some who react without being calculative in response they are considered to be less intellectual and less superior.

Let's take an example here, assume that your phone rings, how much time would you take to answer that phone call? Of course if it is an important call you would react instantly and answer it. If you are not sure about answering it you analysis for a while, but if it is totally unnecessary call you won't mind letting it go.

While talking to some of my friends I realized that there are a lot many factors which truly affects our way of responding to the situation because yes some situations are much bigger than answering the phone call so it needs more dimensions here.

Taking into the consideration about the factors, our nature, our society, our psychological states, our past experiences, sometimes our gender too and trust me our physical fitness also plays a vital role in it.

It has been examined that relaxed or tensed people do react slowly to the situation rather than the people somewhere in-between.

Our age, the older we grow the slower we react to the situation. This includes our maturity level as well.

Whereas the male dominating society is considered  I don't have to say that women will be less responsive.

Love and affection are another aspect that makes us more protective towards our loved one and interestingly it makes us generous towards the society too.

Physical fitness also has a direct effect. People who find themselves fit or say the fitter the person is likely to respond to the situation directly.

And this is silly but somehow right that men are good in analyzing the situation whereas women are good at feeling the concern of the people so I guess they feel first then do the analysis later on.

Well I do not want to win over the situation but personally I am not a superior kind of. I do not expect everybody to be on my side always but yes if things go wrong I do not want the people hanging around me and losing themselves in thinking, being analytical and calculative. Who cares about the time, situation, principles, right and wrong when your own people needs you, be supportive.

The only conclusion I can find here after interviewing people is everybody wants to be a good human being which is very good but everybody has their own perceptions and ideas about being good.

So I guess I am doing OK

I am sorry its been more than a month and I have not updated any of my posts. There were lots happening these days, a lot of personal experience to write about and being a blogger its sad for me how I am not able to express all these to you. And when I say lot it means festivals, gathering, meetings, celebrations, separation, doctors visit and much more. If I start writing about all these stories I could blog for a long 60 days, daily.

Last evening I was going through my old diaries and I am astonished to see how most of the incidents were so sad in nature. I wonder am I a negative kind of person or sad things give me much stronger emotion to write.

And last night I said goodbye to one of the finest friends of mine and at the other hand learned a new things about my this new friend. So I guess I am doing OK.

Apart from writing these days I am reading 'The Diary of a Young Girl' by Anne Frank. Good book.

Those who doesn't know I would like to share this information that I am working on my own novel as well. 5 years is the maximum time limit I am giving of myself to make it ready for publishing. And I don't mind sharing a few pages with my readers, so just let me know and all kinds of suggestions and advices are acceptable.

So after a long time its good to be in touch with you all. I would love to make this conversation two ways. Tell me about yourself, what are you reading, places you visited, your family, your friends, your problems and believe me I have a lot of things to share with you all too.

And the far most important thing for me right now is "No matter what, I shall not stop writing".

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; 

And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

- By E. E. Cummings

A Time For Love

   The first time I saw him I was too young to understand what love is. Our names start with the same letter, does that means love? Love was sitting next to me for the whole year solving math problems, sharing lunch during recess, I let him borrow my pencil but I never got it back. With sadness I waved him goodbye when we got a part for the whole summer vacation.

   Maybe love changes every year, like weather. Maybe love remains same for ages, like history. Maybe love is complicated as you never get to solve it, like a math problem. Maybe Love lies somewhere in between the lines on our hands, like fate. Maybe love always has a happy ending, like a fairy tale. Maybe Love is perfect.

   But when Love arrived it has short hairs, he wears a loose shirt, he talks less and thinks too much.

   She doesn't know anything about makeup. She doesn't know how to cook at all. She goes crazy on the dance floor. Love has made me sick.

   Love is not perfect but Love is there. Love holds my hand before I fall.

   Love will never let me sleep way past midnight. Love doesn't care about thousands of bucks of a phone bill if he really wants to talk to me all day, all night.

   Love is a blush on my cheeks when someone puts our names together.

   I saw Love is peeking through the corners and edges of its eyes, sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable in public.

   Love surprises me on my Birthday. Love takes care of me when I am sick. Love sings for me so I can sleep. Love comes near to me and my heart beats gets faster. Love touches me and I feel like a roller-coaster ride. But I don't believe Love fights too when we disagree. Love breaks my heart.

   Maybe I am not perfect for Love, maybe Love is not ready for me. Maybe I lost it way back, maybe I have not found it yet.

   Sometimes you have to retain the Love and sometimes you have to let it go.

   Maybe Love will grow old with me. It will have wrinkles all over its body but his heart will be tender. Most of the times it will rest on its bed. Love will hardly talk.

   Love grows like a tree stretching to reach the sky, Love changes like it found a better person than me out there in this very world, Love disappears like a dream but I still have a slight recollection of it's in the morning.

   Maybe love should stay, maybe Love will not.

Brother, Oh Brother!

   When we were kids I hated you, you were the person who teased me most and in a return I thought I could never love you back.

   You always wanted the same pen and notebook I choose for myself, you always wanted the place where I was sitting, you always wanted to reach for remote when I was watching ‘Friends’ on television. I don’t know how many secrets we have shared, I don’t remember how many fights we had together.

   But when we were young you became my friend. I realized we were so bonded. Sometimes you were right to say not everyone is worth being friend but when I told you 'I like that boy' you taught me all about the man's psychology but become his friend eventually. Sometimes you knocked my door just to ensure I am all right and I always hold your attention where ever I go.

   I know you could have been a soldier and serve for this country, I know you could have been a doctor and save many lives but you decided to become something else, out of the league and I respected you because you listen to your heart and I could see a great deal of myself in you.

   I love you because I know you know me better than anyone else, you know me how I feel when I succeed and what I feel when I don’t get what I wish.

   Thank you for everything you taught me, thank you for sharing your chocolates, thank you for all those rides on your bike, thank you for telling who is right and who is wrong and thank you for accepting my every demand. I know you are a good person at heart and upright citizen of this nation.

   I know if I ever need a strong man to hold my side you will be the first person. I know if any road romeo tries to tease me you will be there to punch him on his face.

   I am a girl, I am a woman, you protect me and respect me always and God knows I am lucky to have you all my life. But I ask you for more than that now, please do not just ignore the situation just because no one else is bother about it, never let down your eyes if you see anything is happening wrong, always speak up for the truth and raise your voice if you ever see injustice not only for me for, any girl, for anyone.

Reason to Wander Jodhpur

     Summer and Jodhpur (Rajasthan) expedition, this amazing combination taught me an interesting fact that those extreme adventures are always the most memorable one. Jodhpur is the second largest city of Rajasthan known as the ‘sun-city’ or you can call it the ‘blue-city’. There are lots of ways to describe its beauty; it’s vibrant colorful view, outstanding hospitality, mouth-watering food, rich culture, royal history and much more.

Umaid Bhavan Palace 

Umaid Bhavan Palace, is abode of the Jodhpur Royal Family and the part of the Palace is managed by Taj Hotels. The castle is also operating a museum for Royal antiques where you can throw a glimpse of the Royal dining table, Royal dressing table, antique watches from all over the world and many more fantastic facts about the Royal family. It has a gallery of vintage cars. If you remember the epic Bollywood movie zubeidaa, well story belongs to here.

Mehrangarh Fort

     
Mehrangarh Fort, is one of the largest forts in India. It is situated in one of the highest levels in Jodhpur and view of city from here is mesmerizing. Mehrangarh Fort has a great history and many stories. One of the popular tourist places in Jodhpur and yes do not forget to visit the museum here, it’s amazing. ‘Sudh Desi Romance’ movie title track has been shot here. Great place to visit.

Mandore Fort

Mandore Fort, was once a fulfilled city but now it’s ruined. The only visible sites here are Mandore temple and its garden. It has a small playground for children you can have a visit here, have snacks and enjoy your time. 

Clock-Tower

Clock-tower, it is a busy place and one of the oldest market of Jodhpur with lot many small street shops I don’t think there is anything you can’t find here. We had a glass full of Keser lassi here, amazing.

I am not a foodie but I enjoyed every morsel of food that has been dished out to me here. The sense of local music is great and melodious; one after one song and you can’t stop listening.

     This place has so much to offer and I am too small to handle. Here, beauty is everywhere you just have to look for it.

     People talk about 'mirage' in stories well I won't say I have found my 'mirage' yet but Yes, I accept that I had a glimpse of it here. Land of beautiful people.

P.S.- Special thanks to Deepak and Anuradha for making this trip possible.